Wedding Speech Order: Who Speaks, When, and How Long

Somewhere around the main course, someone is going to hand a microphone to a nervous man in a suit. What happens next decides the mood of your entire night.

I'm Benn Stone, a Melbourne celebrant, DJ and MC. After more than 3,000 weddings I've handed over that microphone a lot of times, and I've watched what happens when the speech order is right and what happens when it isn't. Most celebrants have gone home by the time speeches start. I'm still standing there, holding the run sheet, watching the room and watching the kitchen.

Here's the order that works, where the speeches should sit, and how to stop them eating your night.

The short answer on wedding speech order

For most Australian weddings, this is the order:

1. MC welcome and housekeeping

2. The bride's parents

3. The groom's parents

4. Everyone else, usually the best man and the maid of honour

5. The bride and groom

The couple always go last. That one isn't a stylistic choice, it's structural. Their speech is the thank you that closes the formalities and releases the room into the rest of the night. If someone speaks after them, the whole thing deflates.

Parents first, in order of side, is the other rule worth keeping. The bride's parents open, the groom's parents follow, and then it opens out to the bridal party and anyone else.

You do not need every slot filled. Most weddings I do run four or five speeches, and the good ones run four.

Where speeches actually go in the night

Group them. Don't scatter them.

This is the opposite of the advice you'll read on a lot of wedding blogs, and I'd back it from the floor every time. Speeches spread one per course means the room never fully settles. Every time people relax into conversation, the microphone comes back on and everyone has to stop again. Four interruptions instead of one.

The two spots that work:

• Between entrée and main. My preference. The room is warm, everyone's had a drink and some food, and nobody's tired yet. You get through the formalities and then the rest of the night is clean.

• Just after main is cleared. Also good. Slightly later energy, but the kitchen has done its heavy lifting and you're closer to the dance floor.

Either way, one block, done properly, and then the night belongs to you.

The exception: if you've got eight or more speakers, or you're doing banquet or shared style with several courses coming out, then splitting them across the meal genuinely makes sense. Eight speeches in one block is too much to ask of a room, and a banquet service gives you natural gaps to work with. That's the situation where spreading them is the right call, not the default.

How long each speech should be

Three to five minutes. That's a good speech.

Five minutes is roughly 700 words read aloud, unhurried, with pauses for laughs. Three minutes is around 400. Almost nobody believes this until they time themselves out loud, which is the single most useful thing any speaker can do.

Here's what actually happens. Speakers write for the page, not the room. They don't time it. They add a bit on the morning of the wedding. Nerves make them talk faster in some places and slower in others, and the laughs they didn't plan for add another ninety seconds. A speech the best man thinks is six minutes lands at eleven.

Multiply that across five speakers and your half hour of speeches is an hour.

So tell your speakers the number. Tell them early, tell them in writing, and tell them it's three to five minutes and not a guideline.

The thing that actually goes wrong

Speeches don't usually run into your music curfew. That's not where the damage happens.

They run into your food service.

Your venue has a kitchen working to a schedule. Mains are plated at a set time and they don't improve sitting under a lamp. If your speech block runs twenty minutes long, the kitchen is now holding 120 mains, or serving them into a room where nobody can eat because someone is mid speech at the microphone. The venue is stressed, the food is worse, and your guests are watching their dinner go cold.

That's the actual cost of speeches running over, and it's why the timing matters more than anything else on this page.

It's also exactly why you want an MC who is watching for it. Keeping speeches to time is not about being rigid, it's about protecting the food, the service, and the energy in the room. A good MC is in conversation with the venue all night, and adjusts on the fly when something runs long.

Who should speak

Fewer people than you think.

Every speech you add is another five minutes, another set of nerves, and another chance that someone tells a story that should have stayed at the buck's night. The best receptions I've done had four speeches, all short, all from people who genuinely wanted to speak.

Some guidance:

• Ask people well in advance. Six weeks minimum. Sprung on the day is how you get eleven minutes of nothing.

• Don't make anyone speak who doesn't want to. A reluctant speaker is uncomfortable for everyone, including the room.

• Be careful with open mic. It sounds lovely and it is the fastest way to lose control of a reception. If you want it, cap it. Two people, nominated in advance, two minutes each.

• Consider who isn't being asked. If your dad speaks and your mum doesn't, that's a decision. Make it deliberately.

  
  

Small things that make a big difference

Everyone knows their position. The order goes on the run sheet, and every speaker gets told where they sit in it and who follows them. Otherwise the best man and the groom stand up at the same time.

The MC can pronounce the names. Write them phonetically on the run sheet. I ask for this at the final planning meeting.

Nobody gets handed a cold microphone. A speaker who walks up to silence has to build the room from scratch. A proper introduction takes ten seconds and completely changes how the speech lands. That's my job.

Paper, not phones. The screen locks, and then there's a pause while they unlock it in front of 120 people.

Frequently asked questions

What order do wedding speeches go in?

The bride's parents speak first, then the groom's parents, then the bridal party and anyone else, and the bride and groom always speak last.

How long should a wedding speech be?

Three to five minutes. Five minutes is around 700 words read aloud.

Should speeches be before or after dinner?

Grouped together, ideally between entrée and main, or just after main is cleared. One block means fewer interruptions than spreading them across courses.

Should we split the speeches across the meal?

Only if you have eight or more speakers, or you're doing banquet or shared style with several courses. Otherwise keep them together.

Do the bride and groom speak last?

Yes. Their speech closes the formalities and hands the night over to the celebration. Nobody should follow it.

How many speeches should there be?

Four is the sweet spot. Five works. Six is where receptions start to sag.

Who introduces the speakers?

Your MC. Not a family member doing it as a favour, and not the couple. The introduction sets up the speaker and settles the room.

The bit that matters

Your speeches are the only part of the reception where your people get to say something about you out loud, to everyone, at once. They're worth doing properly.

Properly means short, in the right order, grouped into one clean block, and run by someone watching the clock and the kitchen at the same time. Get that right and speeches become the best twenty minutes of your night rather than the hour everyone quietly endures.

If you'd like to talk through what your reception timeline could look like, or you want an MC who'll actually keep the thing moving, get in touch.